Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking)

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Tristan de Montebello is the co-creator of Ultraspeaking, the most effective method I’ve come across for rapidly improving communication and presentation skills. In 2017, Tristan became the fastest person ever to reach the finals of the World Championship of Public Speaking, achieving this feat in just seven months with no prior experience. In our conversation, we discuss:

• Why public speaking is a meta skill that can transform your life

• Practical games and exercises to improve your speaking skills

• The “Accordion Method” for preparing talks without memorization

• The “Bow and Arrow Technique” for crafting memorable presentations

• Tristan’s journey to the World Championship of Public Speaking finals

• Lenny doing some of the exercises live on-screen

Tristan is offering a limited-time discount to Ultraspeaking. Both codes are valid until November 14, 2024:

→ $500 off an Unlimited Membership with code UNLIMITEDLENNY500

→ $200 off a Rapid Tier pass for a single cohort with code RAPIDLENNY200

Some takeaways:

1. To get better at public speaking, enjoyment is key. If it doesn’t feel enjoyable, you’re probably doing it wrong. Try to approach each speaking opportunity as a chance to share something meaningful rather than as a chore.

2. Don’t just study public speaking; actually do it! Join or create a game-based practice group to make speaking fun and less intimidating. The more you practice in a low-stakes, enjoyable environment, the more confident and skilled you’ll become. Think of this as training for a sport—show up, play, and improve.

3. Start recognizing the immense potential of your subconscious. Trust that your brain can fill in the gaps. Begin by completing prompts with just a few words to kick-start your thought process. For example, write down the beginning of a sentence that reflects your goals and see where your mind takes you.

4. Practical tips to appear more confident:

   1. Think up: When gathering your thoughts, resist the urge to look down. Instead, practice looking up and maintaining eye contact with your audience. This simple shift will not only make you appear more confident but will also help you think more clearly. Put a sticky note with “Think Up” on your computer as a reminder.

   2. End strong: People often taper off or express uncertainty at the end of sentences or presentations, which leaves a bad impression. Anticipate this and practice ending your statements confidently with phrases like “In summary” or “To wrap up.”

   3. Stay in character: When you are getting flustered or feeling uncertain, resist the temptation to acknowledge it verbally or through your body-language. Remember that as a speaker, you’re the train conductor. Stay focused on your message and the journey ahead. If something goes wrong, don’t stop to acknowledge it; just keep moving forward. The audience will usually follow your lead and won’t dwell on minor hiccups.

5. Ultraspeaking uses game-based exercises to create “turbulence” and push speakers out of their comfort zones in a low-stakes environment. When you treat speaking as a game, you’ll find it easier to let go of your perfectionism.

Where to find Tristan de Montebello:

• X: https://x.com/Montebello

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tristandemontebello/

• Website: https://ultraspeaking.com

• Free email course: https://ultraspeaking.com/lenny/

In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Introduction to Tristan de Montebello and Ultraspeaking

(01:42) Personal experiences with public speaking

(05:35) Misconceptions and meta skills in public speaking

(08:56) Enjoyment as a barometer for effective speaking

(15:30) Tactical tips for public speaking

(29:15) The importance of practice and games

(34:50) Game 1: The Conductor (Accessing different emotional states)

(45:54) Mindset shift: playing the game

(51:07) Game 2: Triple Step (Staying focused amid distractions)

(01:07:51) Quieting the noise

(01:09:46) Game 3: Conviction Prompts (Building executive presence)

(01:17:27) The Accordion Method explained

(01:37:57) The Bow and Arrow technique

(01:43:43) Final thoughts and encouragement

(01:44:55) Lightning round

Referenced:

• Michael Gendler on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelgendler

• Alienor playing Conductor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmholFWwHro

• Triple Step: https://ultraspeaking.com/triple-step-game/

• Rapid Fire Analogies: https://ultraspeaking.com/rapid-fire-game/

• Joe Rogan Experience #1309 — Naval Ravikant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qHkcs3kG44

• The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361

• Tall poppy syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome

• Peaky Blinders on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/80002479

• The Nice Guys on Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Nice-Guys-Russell-Crowe/dp/B01FV1GLR8

• Ember temperature control smart mug: https://www.amazon.com/Ember-Temperature-Control-1-5-hr-Battery/dp/B07NQRM6ML

• How I got to the World Championships of Public Speaking in 7 months: https://medium.com/the-mission/3000-people-staring-c2cbd14c6d6c

Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.

Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.