Graham Weaver

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Graham Weaver teaches a top-rated course at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business (GSB), where he often unexpectedly ends up helping students figure out what to do with their lives. He is also the founder and CEO of Alpine Investors, a people-driven private equity firm. In our conversation, we discuss:

• Why everything worthwhile requires suffering

• Why most people operate on autopilot, and how to break free

• The “genie methodology” for discovering your true path

• The Nine Lives exercise for exploring different life possibilities

• How to overcome limiting beliefs that hold you back

• Why “not now” is often just another way of saying “never”

• More

Some takeaways:

1. The genie methodology helps uncover your authentic path by asking What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? This forces you to envision a life where fear isn’t a barrier and pushes you toward your most authentic ambitions. Don’t just think about this in the abstract; make it concrete. Where do you want to be in 10 years, and what steps can you start taking today, even in a small way, to get there?

2. If you keep saying “not now” to your big goals or dreams, it’s likely that “not now” will turn into “not ever.” Don’t let fear or external circumstances stop you from taking action. Start with small steps, even if the timing doesn’t feel perfect.

3. Everything worthwhile requires “worse first”—an initial period of increased difficulty or discomfort before improvement. This principle applies across domains:

   1. Getting in shape requires initial soreness and dietary changes

   2. Changing careers means learning new skills and potential income uncertainty

   3. Leaving a bad relationship involves emotional pain and loneliness first

   4. The key is making decisions based on what your future self will thank you for, not what’s easiest tomorrow

4. Limiting beliefs are most dangerous when they’re hidden in your subconscious. To take away their power, write them down. Make them concrete and visible. Suddenly, that nebulous fear becomes a to-do list. For example, if you think you can’t fund your dream project, write down all the fears around it—lack of money, experience, or support. Then, tackle each one like any other problem: make a plan.

5. The Nine Lives exercise reduces the pressure of finding your “one true calling” by exploring multiple exciting life paths. Start with your current life, then imagine eight other lives you’d be excited about, all starting from today. This exercise helps you tap into what truly excites you and brings more energy into your current life, without making drastic changes.

6. Success often requires much longer time frames than most expect. Graham spent 14 years building Alpine before feeling confident it would survive, and 18 years before achieving significant external success. The key is maintaining belief in the vision while accepting that the path will be longer and harder than anticipated.

Where to find Graham Weaver:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/graham-weaver-2b79

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grahamcweaver

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@grahamcweaver

• Website: https://www.grahamweaver.com

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@grahamcweaver

In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Graham’s background

(05:30) Helping students find their true path

(07:40) The genie methodology

(12:36) Breaking free from autopilot mode

(17:54) Identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs

(20:33) Teaching entrepreneurship and personal fulfillment

(22:53) The reality of long-term success

(35:14) The role of accountability and executive coaching

(40:22) Daily goal setting for success

(43:11) The Nine Lives framework

(48:01) The dangers of the “not now” mentality

(55:27) Navigating life’s transitions

(57:19) Failure corner

(01:00:24) When to quit and when to persevere

(01:02:18) Final thoughts and lightning round

Referenced:

• Setting Goals: Demystified: https://www.grahamweaver.com/blog/goals

• Tony Robbins’s website: https://www.tonyrobbins.com

• Alpine Investors: https://alpineinvestors.com

• Stanford GSB Last Lecture 2024—How to Live Your Life at Full Power: https://www.grahamweaver.com/blog/stanford-graduate-business-school-last-lecture-2024

• I turned 50 today. Here is the most important thing I learned in my first half century: https://www.grahamweaver.com/blog/turning-50

• Where the Crawdads Sing on Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Crawdads-Sing-Daisy-Edgar-Jones/dp/B0B5KBKDNL

• Chilipad Cube Bed Cooling System: https://www.amazon.com/Chilipad-Cube-Bed-Cooling-System/dp/B07GT9MYRW

• Sleepme OOLER Sleep System: https://www.amazon.com/OOLER-Sleep-System-Temperature-Integration/dp/B07RX8LT9G

• Eightsleep: https://www.eightsleep.com

• Howard Thurman’s quote: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6273-don-t-ask-what-the-world-needs-ask-what-makes-you

Recommended books:

• Switch: How to Change Things when Change Is Hard: https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Change-Things-When-Hard/dp/0385528752

• The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379

• Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is the Beginning and End of Suffering: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Believe-Everything-Think-Expanded/dp/B0D47VYQMY

• How to Win Friends and Influence People: https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034

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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.